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More Not Always Working: Employees

Journal Entry: Fri Apr 17, 2015, 11:23 AM
Bank, Call Center | CA, USA | Employees, Technology

(I work in a call center at a help desk for a bank, assisting representatives with problems and doing research. Often we get asked how systems work or how to find something. I’m in Colorado; the person calling is in California.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company] help desk. This is [My Name]. How can I help today?”

Teller: “I’m trying to write a letter in Google but it’s not letting me.”

Me: “What do you mean, you’re trying to write a letter in Google?”

Teller: “I’m trying to write a letter to go with a check we’re returning to the client, but Google won’t let me do it.”

Me: “You need to use a word processor, not Google.”

Teller: “But I can type. Why won’t it let me write a letter?”

Me: “Let me just write that letter for you.”

Teller: “Then how will I get it? Will you drop it on my desk?”

Me: “I can email it to you.”

Teller: “Then how will the client get it?”

Me: “You can print it off and mail it to them with the check.”

Teller: “How do I mail a letter?”

(It just kept going like this for 10 minutes. Sadly, this is not the first or last time I’ve had to explain how to mail a letter.)

Office Supply Store | Golden, CO, USA | Awesome Workers

Me: “Can someone help me find [Product], please?”

Cashier: “[Name] will help you.”

([Name] walks ahead of me to correct aisle. He’s a bit pudgy, and his belt is barely above the curve of his buttocks. In addition, he has a walkie-talkie dangling from one back pocket and a scan gun hanging from the other. I get what I need and return to the cash register.)

Me: *laughing* “It took a lot of self-control not to tell [Name] to pull up his pants! All my teacher instincts were on alert.”

Cashier: *without batting an eye, picks up microphone and announces* “[Name], pull up your pants. I’ve got a teacher here who says you need to!”

Retail | Allentown, PA, USA | At The Checkout, Employees, Ignoring/Inattentive

(I’m shopping at a big box retailer and am frustrated because out of ten possible registers, two are open and they each have lines ten customers deep. One of the closed registers is designated for 10 items or less. Despite there being no one at the register, I go and stand in line. Finally, someone sees me and comes over.)

Employee: “Ma’am, this line isn’t open.”

Me: “Are you telling me that the sign lies?”

Employee: “What sign?”

(I point above my head, where a large colorful sign proclaims that the register at which I’m standing is open every day from 10 am to 8 pm. It is the middle of the afternoon.)

Me: “That sign. Is it lying?”

Employee: “I… uh… if you’ll come over to customer service, ma’am, we’ll ring you up.”

(The next time I went to that store, the sign had mysteriously been removed.)

Hospital | UK | Employees, Health & Body, Ignoring/Inattentive

(My brother has just had a hospital procedure which means he has to have a urinary catheter for a week or so. He is just about to leave hospital, and the nurse is checking the catheter and the attached urine collection bag, which is strapped to his leg.)

Brother: “So, how do I shower with this?”

Nurse: “You can just disconnect the bag, and let the catheter drip while you’re in the shower. Then put the bag on again afterwards.”

Brother: “So, I should just leave the end of the catheter exposed?”

Nurse: “Yes, it won’t matter if urine comes out, you are in the shower after all.”

Brother: “But the doctor said anytime I disconnected the bag, I had to make sure and follow sterile procedures to avoid infection.”

Nurse: “Yes, that’s right.”

Brother: “So if I get in the shower with the end of the catheter exposed, how is that sterile? Won’t it expose me to infection?”

Nurse: “Of course! You should never do that, you’ll cause infection.”

Brother: “So, um, how should I shower then?”

Nurse: “With the bag attached, of course. You can change it afterwards. You should never leave the open catheter exposed.”

Brother: “You do realise you just contradicted yourself?”

Nurse: “What?”

Brother: “Never mind…”

Restaurant | Houghton, NY, USA | Employees, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(My college fast food joint recently had a change in management. I am a vegetarian.)

Cashier: “What can I get you?”

Me: “Hi, can I have the veggie wrap?”

Cashier: “Uh… I don’t think we have those.”

Me: *surprised* “I’ve ordered them here before with no problem.”

Cashier: “One moment.” *yells back to manager* “Can we make a veggie wrap?”

Manager: *from back* “No! We only have a chicken wrap!”

Cashier: *turns back to me* “Sorry, we don’t have those. I’m not sure why the previous owners were able to make one for you. We only have chicken wraps.”

Me: “…Well, could I have a chicken wrap without the chicken?”

Cashier: *wheels turning* “…Hey, [Manager], can we just do a chicken wrap without the chicken?”

Manager: *silence* “Yeah, I guess we could do that!”

Cashier: “Okay! What would you like on that?”

(Every time I went there from then on, I had to specifically order ‘the chicken wrap without the chicken.’ Only ONE cashier in the next two years of me going to college there asked why I hadn’t just asked for a vegetable wrap.)

Fast Food | Lubbock, TX, USA | Bad Behavior, Employees, Food & Drink, Ignoring/Inattentive

(We have just ordered two combo meals which come with drinks. We get to the second window and receive our meals, but only one drink. Mind that both meals had their fries, and thus had been marked as combos.)

Husband: “Ma’am, were missing a drink.”

Server: “All right, let me get that for you, sir.”

(We wait two minutes.)

Server: “You’re the ones with the [someone else’s order]?”

Us: “No, ma’am, we’re waiting on a drink.”

(She disappears for another two minutes.)

Server: “All right, so you’re the [other order].”

Husband: “…No, we’re still just waiting for a drink.”

(By now, we’ve in the drive through line for at least 10 minutes.)

Server: “All right, well, we didn’t put the drink on the order, so—”

Husband: “…Well, here’s my card. Charge what you need to for the drink.”

Server: *takes the card* “No one needs that attitude, sir.”

(My husband and I look at each other puzzled, but we give up. We get a drink and his card back and head off.)

Husband: *takes a sip of his drink once we’re at home* “…This is the wrong drink.”

Fair | USA | Awesome Workers, Family & Kids, Top

(I am attending a home and garden show at the state fairgrounds. The complex is huge and has multiple buildings with multiple events going on, all with different admission fees. I am on my way back to my car when my young daughter informs me she is about to have a bathroom emergency. I take her to the nearest building.)

Security Guard: “Hello! You guys got your tickets?”

Me: “Actually, I don’t. We were just hoping to pop in and use the restroom.”

Guard: “I’m sorry, I’ve been specifically told not to allow that because people sneak in.”

(He then looks down and sees my daughter in visible discomfort.)

Guard: “Um, I just got a call on the radio that there might be a dragon in the building, so I am going to have to look over in this direction for a while. When I turn my back, whatever you do, DON’T open these doors. DO NOT go down this hallway approximately 20 yards, and under no circumstances use the employee restroom because it’s cleaner, and there is no line.”

(He then winks, opens the door, and turns his back. We hurry in and use the potty. On the way out, I see the guard.)

Me: “Thanks so much! Have you tracked down the ‘dragon’?”

Guard: “Funniest thing, turned out to be a light fixture, not a dragon at all, so there’s no danger. Have a great evening, ladies.”

(Mr. Security Guard, if you are reading this, thank you! You are a lifesaver!)

Fast Food | Phoenix, AZ, USA | Bosses & Owners, Ignoring/Inattentive, New Hires, Top

(I am invited to interview at a popular quick service joint. I am not made aware that it will be a group interview. My interview is scheduled well before the place’s actual opening time, so naturally the doors are locked, but I can see employees inside getting ready for the day.)

Me: *knocking gently on the door* “Hello? I’m here to see [Interviewer].”

(Not one of the employees even look up. Another person walks up next to me.)

Interviewee #1: “You’re here for an interview, too?”

Me: “Yeah. What time’s yours?”

Interviewee #1: “Nine.”

Me: “So’s mine. I guess we’re interviewing together.”

(It’s five minutes to nine, so we make more attempts to get the employee’s attention. Not once do they ever acknowledge us in any way. By ten past, two more interviewees have shown up.)

Interviewee #2: “What the h***? They better not count this as late!”

(We all decide to stick around until 9:30, and just as we start to walk away, the doors fly open.)

Interviewer: “Where have you all been?! We were supposed to have finished by now! Why are you all late?!”

Interviewee #1: “We weren’t late! We were out here on time, but no matter how many times we knocked on the door or asked to be let in, those employees of yours wouldn’t even look at us!”

Interviewer: “Well that’s not my fault. You all should have tried harder!”

Me: *losing my temper* “How? Slamming ourselves against the door? Screaming our heads off? We all knocked and spoke loud enough to be heard. Why didn’t you come out to see us when it was time?”

Interviewer: “It’s not my job to be here on time. It’s your job. And you all failed miserably at that! You’re all lucky we’re short staffed or I’d turn you all out!”

Me: “You know what? I don’t want to work for you. Let someone else deal with your b**** a**. Oh, and I’ll make sure to be calling into corporate about how you deal with prospective employees.”

(The rest all murmur in agreement, and we simultaneously head for our cars.)

Interviewer: “Fine! Leave! You’ll be sorry when you find yourself in some dead end job and on the street! I hope you rot!”

(I flipped her off without turning around and drove away from there as fast as I could.)

Fast Food | WA, USA | Employees, Food & Drink, Health & Body

(I’m at a popular burger chain with my boyfriend. Due to allergies, I can’t have mayo. I order some food, and when I order my burger…)

Me: “And no mayo on the [burger], please.”

Cook: *pops out of the kitchen* “Extra mayo, then!”

(I know he’s joking, but I give him the most dead serious look.)

Me: “I will vomit on every surface I can if you give me mayo.”

Cook: “…No mayo it is.”

Law Firm | Cincinnati, OH, USA | Extra Stupid, New Hires, Technology

(The senior partner’s nephew works for us as a copy clerk for the summer and the fact that this kid got into college HAS TO have something to do with Uncle Senior Partner. This kid is AMAZINGLY stupid. One day the copier, which has three trays (8-1/2″ x 11″, 8-1/2″ x 14″ and 11″ x 8-1/2″)  runs out of paper in that third drawer. I walk by as he is looking mystified at the supply cabinet where all the paper is labeled either 8-1/2″ x 11″ or 8-1/2″ x 14″. I see the blinking light on the copier and knew what the problem is: it was out of 11″ x 8-1/2 paper.)

Me: “What’s the problem?”

Young Employee: “We don’t have the paper the copier wants.”

(I picked up a packet of the 8-1/2″ x 11″)

Me: “Look, we can MAKE SOME.” *turns the paper on its side*

Young Employee: “Whoa, that’s FAR OUT!”

Writer | USA | Bosses & Owners, Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

(A friend of mine is also close friends with some people that do web-comics and develop their own card and computer games. They’ve asked him to see if he can find them someone to help out with a project.)

Friend: “So [Content Creator] wants to see if he can find writers to help him out with this project for [Their Universe].”

Me: “Really? That would be cool. I always enjoy their stories and the exposure could be good.”

Friend: “Oh, they don’t want anybody else’s name on the project.”

Me: “Okay, I’d have to hear more about the project before I can settle on some ghost-writing fees.”

Friend: “They don’t want to pay up front either.”

Me: “Royalties for such a small group as there’s are a little bit iffy.”

Friend: “He won’t pay any royalties at all either.”

Me: “So, he won’t pay a fee, he won’t give royalties, and he won’t give credit?”

Friend: “Yeeeah.”

Me: “Okay, how about a trade of services? Their art style isn’t really my favorite, but I’m sure I can find something they could do for me in return.”

Friend: “He’s not doing art trades either.”

Me: “How does he plan to pay for the services?”

Friend: “He actually refuses to pay for anything. He just wants me to find him some writers to help out with his project.”

Me: “…for free? He wants me, or someone else, to take time away from our own projects and just help him for no compensation what-so-ever?”

Friend: “Yeah.”

Me: “…”

Friend: “I’ve tried to tell him it’s a stupid policy, but he won’t listen.”

(Needless to say, I did not do the work for the guy.)

Lapurr's Journal Stamp by justravelin
Stamp by justravelin

LaPurr Stamp by Fractoid
Stamp by Fractoid

CSS by littledeviltoo

Avatar image: Sunlit Repose
by WonkyLemur

Nice kitty...


United States
Deviant since March 4, 2006

58 years old...old enough to be an adult but also old enough to know that I don't have to act like one.

Well-traveled. Well-worn. Not always well-behaved.

Operating System: Honesty . . . I really hate lies
Shell of choice: Skin
Skin of choice: My own
Favorite game: Life
Favorite gaming platform: Planet Earth
Personal quote: Same shit, different day...


Add a Comment:
olTom Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2015
I just appreciate your artwork. It's very peaceful to me. Thank you.
LaPurr Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2015
That's a very nice to write. Thank you. :blowkiss:
olTom Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2015
What inspires you? I can't tell you how much I love so many of your works. Do you sell them? 
LaPurr Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2015
I haven't made a fractal in years and no, I don't sell them.

Thanks for stopping by my gallery and for leaving such a kind comment.  :blowkiss:
(1 Reply)
JACAC Featured By Owner Jan 13, 2014
h e l l o . Kat:wave:
t h a n k . y o u . f o r . t h e . k i n d . :+fav: . =)

i . h o p e . m y . o t h e r . p h o t o s . a r e . a l s o . i n t e r e s t I n g
i f . y o u . g e t . t h e . c h a n c e . i . w o u l d . l o v e . t o . r e a d . a l s o . y o u r . c o m m e n t s

s m i l e . t h e . g r e y . c o l o u r s . o f . w i n t e r . a r e . o u t . t h e r e =)=)
h a pp y . 2014
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